Not a good day

[greencurlymum]

Not because of the cat. Far from it. Seems she just caught a really really nasty virus and now has cistitis. That is why she is peeing everywhere. The virus was the reason for her massive weight loss and her restlessness. She will stay in the doctor's office until Tuesday and then return home.

So that is not the reason for my feeling ... out of place somehow.
The days are rare, yet sometimes it hits me that I am "just" a mother and wife now. Oh, and a housekeeper of course. I don't mean this to sound devaluating. Most of the time I am aware that I am doing one of the hardest jobs on the planet and am just shamefully underpaid.
Still, there are days like today when I am painfully aware that most of my friends are miles away from me, that I left behind me a life and a job that I liked very much, that the people I talk to are mostly other mothers who have actually nothing else in common with me but the fact that they gave birth. And I bite my lip and smile and listen to their babbling, because my child likes their children while I would really like to pack my stuff and go.
Maybe it is just that it is summer and I see all those people going out in the evening, to the cinema, for a drink in the pub or just to hang out and chat. Young people. Damnit, I am young as well! Or, I will be again once I get a good night's sleep and just one day off.

Comments

[pbristow.livejournal.com]

You are definitely *not* "just a mother". You are also a small albino chipmunk living in Southwest Virginia.

Sorry if that's a shock. We just didn't want to tell you until the time was right. =:o}

[salika.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That definitely got a laugh out of me. LOL

[shannachie.livejournal.com]

I don't think you are a chipmonk.

I understand. That won't help you, but I do understand. And it would be great to have you here now where I'd schlepp you to my favourite ice cream parlour to have bitter chocolate and mon cherie ice cream.
And then we could talk about men. And I am sure we would find something to complain...

[shannachie.livejournal.com]

Of course, we would talk about men in an educated and inspire way, thoroughly academic in every sense of the word...

[salika.livejournal.com]

Naturally.

[salika.livejournal.com]

Like the whole plan. The schlepping, the ice cream, the talking, ...

[nelladarren.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn, so The Trap really got to you. :o(
I so hoped you'd be able to avoid it.

Does it help any that I recently feel as if I'm being eaten alive by the job? That would have been your fate, too... :o)
Thursday and Friday I was only teaching my 4 classes and felt so good and thought "gah, if I could ONLY do THAT day in day out I'd be so relieved; not that the workshop stuff is bad, (hey, I got all 10s on the evaluation sheet), only SO EXHAUSTING, together with the planning stuff and all the intensive courses and projects and the Fort- und Weiterbildung - I WANT TO HAVE A ROUTINE AGAIN!!!

Did it help? :o/

[salika.livejournal.com]

Kind of.
Am still slightly jealous, because if you manage not to break down from exhaustion you can watch TV all night, surf the net, go out with friends, ...

I'd say "Let's switch lives for a while", but after watching too many movies along those lines I'd say we just learn our lessons without 90 minutes of crap. :-)

*huggles*

[nelladarren.livejournal.com]

Are you nuts? If I'd have to get near a child for only hours I'd kill myself or rather just leave for Belgium...!
So this is by no way a valid comparison. Ask me again to try something exhausting that doesn't involve drool and babble... :o)

[delennara.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't totally know how you feel, since I still have work...but days taht are just diapers, work, diapers, getting up at 2 to calm the baby and get up again at 6 and then bottle and diapers, and work....

For me, the weekends with the playgroundvisits, talking to other mothers, are something precious....but still, yes I do feel old, too.
Like, where is our spontanity? Or, yes, cinema. I'd love to go to the theatre, too.

Well, we have made some things possible. But hell, the planning that is necessary....
*hugs*

See you at the Funacon?
Be either young together or...mothers ?

[salika.livejournal.com]

Yes, M'am!
Friday is my Granny's birthday, so I'll have to pass on the first day, but I will definitely be there on Saturday and, if possible, also on Sunday.

How about being young mothers together?
*huggles*