Jan. 12th, 2004

greencurlymum: (Grey)
The New Year is not even two weeks old and so far it sucks. That’s official.
After a very stressful Christmas in my parents’ place and even more stressful 10 days in Italy with Francesco family I was kind of looking forward to some free time in the last week. Work waited for me just Monday and Tuesday, so the plan was to go home to Solingen on Wednesday and spend some quality time with my Mom.
Alas, things don’t always go as planned. When I arrived Wednesday my Mom had just been called to the Old People’s home, because my Grandmother had pneumonia. That in combination with water in her body that slowly reached the lungs made the situation more serious than anybody thought in the beginning. I spent four days taking turns in sitting at my Granny’s bed, holding her hand talking to her, cooling her forehead and comforting my mother.
Of course Granny died six hours after I’d left. That’s just her timing. Always has been.
I haven’t really found the peace to cry yet. First I had to be strong for my Mom – it’s no use if two people lose their heads and run around blind with tears. (My father was as helpful as ever, by the way.)
And today Francesco had his job interview for the company in Stuttgart. As much as he wanted to be supportive, his mind was somewhere else.
Five minutes ago he called to tell me how wonderful the interview went and how much he likes what they offer him.
And once more I have to be strong and bite my lip and not tell him that I don’t care how wonderful the job is, that I don’t want to move again, that I don’t want to give up the most wonderful job I’ve ever had in my entire life and that I don’t want to start making a home and building our community all over again.
I would like to repeat it once more: so far the New Year sucks!

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Greencurlymum

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